Head Space

Men don’t want us in their heads.  They like to get head.  Totally different. 

One or twice some of us have had the thought “if I could just know what he was thinking”…

But what if men have good reasons for everything  they do?

Pulling Away.  Not forthcoming with emotions.

What if it’s not what we assume it to mean?

Do we automatically think pulling away means we have done something wrong?  Do we interpret their being cold and distant as they need us to be more?

His demonstrated behavior is what is important.  Act on your own strengths and your own best interests.  Let your intuition guide you.  Stay out of his head.

Reflect on your own perceptions.

After experiencing such profound oneness and connection during phases of our D/s Journey I needed to adapt to the concept of not being merged together.  The journey to get that place where his separateness is not a threat.

I don’t need someone to complete me and I understand the phrase “let him go”.   

I am enjoying my freedom and challenging myself everyday.  The successes are empowering.

 

 

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The Composite

Music is magic.  The Eagles are one of those rock groups that are magical.  I recently saw them in concert along with over 35,000 people.  Amazeballs.  I danced, I cried, I flew high; all in the wonderful company of my Man.

I think we mold songs to apply to our life.  This is why they reach down so deeply into our souls. We imagine them being sung about us.  I love songs that are not just vibrations that bounce of us but they hit us and delve into us.  We release parts of that energy back into the world when we dance.

What inspired the song writer? Do you ever have curiosities about what songs are really about to them?

Don Henley had several inspirations for Witchy Woman.  The female in the song is a composite.  While he had the flu, Don had been reading  a book about the life of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s troubled wife, Zelda, who drifted in and out of psychiatric hospitals suffering from schizophrenia. “She drove herself to madness with a silver spoon,” is a reference to Fitzgerald’s battles with alcohol abuse and mental illness.

An additional book source was the shamanistic aspects of the Carlos Castaneda books Bernie Leadon and Don were intrigued with at the time.

There was also a girl Don was seeing at the time who was into white witchcraft.  Harmless folk stuff.

Great darling that is all really boring information.  Yes but it is kinda like this D/s thing everyone is talking about.  We read something and we have our own thoughts about its meaning when we don’t know the inspiration; the story behind it.

 Raven hair and ruby lips
Sparks fly from her finger tips
Echoed voices in the night
She’s a restless spirit on an endless flight
Wooo hooo witchy woman see how
High she flies

 

 

Giggle Tickle

The heavy air has been carried away by the breeze.   This morning when I felt the crisp cool air on my skin I just giggled.  I pictured bubbles coming out of my mouth with each giggle and it made my tongue tickle.  My walk had a rhythm

giggle, tickle

giggle, tickle

Yesterday we went to the jewelry shop where ( about 4 years ago) we acquired our wedding rings. We got our rings cleaned.  It was like starting over.  It evoked strong emotions yet I didn’t want to openly cry or display too much.  My body was full of emotion and it needed to make space for it.   Tears are a reaction to an emotional state. 

I was experiencing a new beginning.

I felt electricity as he stepped closer to me.  Keenly aware of his masculinity I felt my back arch ever so slightly.  Everything just disappeared and all I felt was his warm hand on my back.  I received the happiness he was offering.

Thank you for the giggle bubbles

 

Controlling My Own Thoughts

Sunflower colored sunsets and red moon adventures of a beautiful girl                               Her thoughts sprinkle across the water                                                                               ripples of happiness create these waves                                                                                 that make their way to the shore.

She watches her reflection dance

Killing Spiders

Disclaimer: I don’t advocate killing anything and prefer to release into the wild.  

Sunday night my spider spotters found a large hairy type of intruder on the wall above my bed.  They were trying to investigate and detain this creepy little black thing that had created quite an ugly shadow of himself.

I told them not to do anything, i would get a tissue, return and take care of it.  So of course as soon as I turned my back they must have have attacked.

I return with the tissue to find a missing spider.  WHERE IS HE?  is he BEHIND my pillow- in the bed?   Wilbear is standing up dancing up and down telling me It is going to bite us in the night.  is behind the bed in the dark endless nothing space he calls the breach?  Stuffies that fall into the breach disappear for a long time.

After a level 2 search I decide to go to bed and keep my hands away from the end of the bed.

It made me wonder about the best way to kill a spider.  Sure I think the very bestest way is for my tall handsome Daddy to save me however what about when we have to take care of ourselves.

I recommend the sneak attack and capture kill with a tissue.  I know men have an arsenal of tools such as remotes, shoes, hair spray, and what have yous.  My Man used the remote the other night at his house.  He is crafty.  I would call out in distress and he would rescue me.

I killed that spider last night.  One more night and someone might have named him.

What is the proper way to kill a spider?  I don’t know.  Please share your method or last encounter.

The Now

It’s been a long time since I have written anything with the express purpose of posting it online. I am doing it at this time for one reason, darling.

A lot has changed with us. Time has moved us into a different place in our relationship. Over a year ago I called a “red” on all things D/s and BDSM related. I felt that our relationship was struggling and I did not feel that our lifestyle was helping. In fact it may have been pulling us apart. The hows and whys are not important at this time. I may go back to them in the future but this writing is about now.
The “red” took a lot of pressure of of me at the time. It confused and scared darling. I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t realize the loss she would feel. I tried to assure her that we would be okay. We weren’t. We drifted further apart and eventually, about a month ago, I left. The day to day tensions were too much and I knew that if I stayed we would lose each other forever. We would end up so mad and hurt that we would find hate inside even while loving each other.
So where are now? We are together….always. No, not physically. That is not what is important right now. That is just distance. What is important is that we are together in our hearts. That we are connecting again. That we are reaching out to one another and finding the person that we fell in love with instead of the one that was creating negativity between us. It has been difficult but is getting better. I feel trust that I had lost in her building again. I believe that she is feeling it towards me again as well. We are exploring our relationship in new ways because of the living arrangement. I am excited by the newness along with the security of our past adventures together. We have so much to build on from all that we have been through.
One last thing, for you darling. I have put up walls to protect myself from you when I felt pain. I have done things that I believed to be the right thing for us at the time only to have them be wrong and cause hurt. I am sorry for those things. I have never wanted to hurt you. I know that right now you are suffering deeply. I am doing everything I can to do the “right” things for us. I can’t say that I will always do them correctly. I can say that I will always do them with you and our love first and foremost in my thoughts. I have never stopped loving you. I have never stopped being in love with you. You will always be My girl.
More on our new adventure together to come.