Sock Wars

Every day I ask myself where are my socks.  WHY can’t I find any socks.  I mull about like a drunken zombie moaning and mumbling “sock”.   Those close to me don’t get involved.  They ignore me mostly.  Once in a while someone might ask me what I am doing.  As soon as they hear about socks….bam. they disappear.  Then it happens…I spy the remains of what might be a precious.

OMG a sock!!!   Precious.   Holding it up to the light….

I have learned to limit my time and effort on searching for an exact match.  It makes my life easier.  So No- my socks don’t always match.  I am smart enough to wear boots though.  It is war and I am determined to win.

I mean here I am sitting at work with a sweater dress on and leggings (because tights would be too much like long long socks) and no one is any wiser that I have these little pink socks on under my brand new boots.

I feel like today I won the sock war.

 

I have been cheating

it is true.  I have been spending time on another secret blog AND I have been writing posts for this one in my head at night.   Why is that cheating?  because I think these night posts are Great. You- my loyal friend- don’t get to read them.

They often don’t get written.  In my defense- i want to write them.  I do.

I just forget most of it or the day gets away from me.  Mostly I think i forget.

The other times when daylight hits they don’t seem all that great.

They look good under the moon light but quite silly in that morning light.

I didn’t share that my cat had an allergy and to stop the balding of his belly my Man bought Duck and pea food.  That did not go over well.  In fact the community officers of the pond..aka the ducks were planning a protest.   How do I know this?  well I saw some signs being drawn up. (evidence)  Also there was confusion amongst the cats whether is was green duck pee.  It was a mess.   Try explaining that to an itchy cat.

Sure sexy at night while i am recounting the event but not so much in the daylight.

So. forgive me or thank me

Failed Sex and Burnt Toast

We make toast every weekend and it is golden.  I am content.  Then one day I put a slice of bread in the toaster and without changing  any settings I end up with burnt toast.  I always utter out loud, “burnt toast”, sigh, and make sure the toaster knows I am UNHAPPY.  “How can this happen?” Is my toaster in a bad mood.  Did I make my toaster mad?  Are my hands cold? -lots of “I don’t understands” and then decision to butter it and call it good  or try again.  I don’t however tell my friends I had a toast failure and think the world is ending.  Sure, I might check the settings to make sure nothing obvious has been adjusted but I usually just accept it and eat it.  

It occurs to me burnt toast is like a sexual failure. Other than the Classics: failure to launch, stay the course, or land why would I determine something a fail? I mean if the peg goes in the hole isn’t that a success?

There are other things involved and when they don’t happen we often call it a FAIL.  No, I didn’t go to sex referee school but this is a hot topic among couples and between women. 

It is like we expect to do something over and over  and expect it to turn out golden everytime.  

Sex is messy.  We get insecure about our bodies.  We don’t communicate.  Foreplay gets omitted or shortened for either of us. Cats jump on the bed.  I have to pee.  We are tired. I am cold.  I am hot.  These are happen and will continue to happen.  These we can laugh about.  

I am still falling in love with my Man

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tora Princess

YOU ARE a good friend. We need our little time and we need our other time time. I have found you are there for both. And you will understand what I just said. That is the wonderful part. So this poly thing: brilliant. and about the best friend- cultivate. I have found the best times are those spend investing. I don’t think it would have worked better if we met at the library cuz someone would be shhhoshing us. You are a giggle factory.

You are amazing.  aka amazeballs

my comment would not post so I just wrote a post.

giggle.

i officially declare a polka dot in your name…it is like naming a star …trust me

MoEvs

So it begins with Whatevs Wednesday. That is the day you say whatevs.. (Mandatory)

Example- don’t eat too many sour pumpkin candies. Reply,” whatevs”

Whatevs Wednesday   begat

Forevs Friday

Cousin of MoEvs