It is how toy responds: a movement, a moan, and heavier breathing. I have watched a primal instinct flicker in your eyes. I can conjure your beast. This little girl, this beautiful body has that control.
Yes Daddy, I have that control.
You control my body. You make it move, you force me to wake that beast. In the middle of the night when you are asleep. You have given me that hunger to wake you. Even when I know the consequences. The desire to please- that is under your control Daddy. Your mastery has control of my desires.
So what it is I control? My Feelings? Ugh that is just not as sexy. As a baby girl/little the reality of being responsible for my feelings seems like a lot of work. Maybe even unfair.
So if Daddy makes me mad. If I am mad it is because it started with hurt. I have to tell Daddy when my feelings are hurt. It is so simple right? Oh god no. That is the conundrum. How to tell Daddy. I worry about him getting mad/upset and all the other. Is it in my head? No…not always- sometimes when i tell him how my feelings got hurt it hurts his feelings. Oh then I can be in a pickle. Babygirls don’t like to hurt Daddies. Maybe it sounds like i think he did something wrong or that i did not like. Those waters can be dangerous. I often prefer to sit on the bank and go in. But I am a little. That means that i might put my little toe in- just enough to kinda let him know something might be wrong.
Sure, he probably knows because I am not very good at hiding my feelings. I might sigh, stare out the window, or try to act like everything is fine, or I might be tearing up. I might also be quite not so pleasant. It is true. I can be not so wonderful. BUT I always love my Daddy.
Now it turns out that Daddy has the same issue. He often has a hard time being honest with me about how he feels…Why? cuz it can hurt my feelings. He does not like my reaction. So we are going to find a way to tell each other these things. WE HAVE TO.
-our foundation is built on OPEN and HONEST communication.
So the story continues and I will let you know. It is trial and error. Lots of hard talks and tears.
We have an appointment with our BDSM councilor and he will give us some good tools. Until then- what do you do?