I am a reader. I read several different books at a time and contemplate the things I read. Currently I am reading Surrendered Wife- Chapter 22: The Red Herring.
A red herring is something that misleads or distracts from a relevant or important issue.
As I read I absorb the words and try to apply things in my own little baby girl world. I had a red herring moment (no not a period silly). A moment where I was scared and upset but in my mind it was all Daddies doing. The basics of the story: Daddy sent me a link to a big vendor/tasting/play party community event posted on fetlife and asked my thoughts. I was really not sure I wanted to go, ya- pretty sure it was a NO for me. There was another local picnic meeting the same day and I wanted to attend that instead (much safer too).
Later Daddy told me he booked a room for us and we were going to the tastings/play party for the weekend. I think I felt my heart get a little mad. That little part of me who wanted to throw a tantrum. HOW dare he. I did not say i wanted to go. Wait- i am his submissive. I should not be mad I should be okay.
I was not. No baby girl star for me. Inner Struggle begins. I am still practicing submission even during this struggle.
I probably worried about the concept of “play party” imagining wild orgy type things and what am i going to wear and OMG people will see me naked and a list of other things. Right? Then feeling bad about feeling not so submissive. Why wasn’t I being submissive? I had a Daddy who went out of his way to set up a weekend of D/s kink and I should be humbly thankful. I was but…
I found myself sitting in my chair brewing up feelings and spinning and churning and sick and…then i had my Surrendered moment. I surrendered to my submission.
I got up and walked my baby girl feet over to Daddy. I told him in my little voice that I had something I needed to say – he saw my apprehension and told me it was okay. I could tell him. “Daddy I am not feeling submissive and i don’t like it”. There I said it-thunder and lightning were suppose to happen. Daddy held me and looked into my teary little eyes. Just safety happened.
We talked about my worries (i think he told me some of them- he knows me well). My worry over the event was the Real McCoy and being mad at Daddy, that he made plans without
consulting discussing asking me, was the distracting red herring.
Daddy made me feel safe by making plans to get me something to wear, talking about what it was going to be like, and that we could go to both events. He got the Daddy Dom star. I was truly humbled by how he responded to the situation. We did make a day out of our shopping trip and I had so much fun. Daddy and I took pictures like we were at Disney land. People commented on how cute we were. It was wonderful. HE IS WONDERFUL.
I have some cute outfits to wear and a brand new spanking skirt on the way. And SHOES!!!
Lessons learned from just the first page of chapter 22. The next time you find yourself wondering why Daddy drives too fast ask yourself what are you really mad at. What is the red herring and the Real McCoy. It is usually found within yourself. (I want to know your red herring moments.)
Retrospect: I was off that week- just not where i needed to be. Daddy has since put me in my place. That is another story…..for him to tell.
Know your place girl…..On your knees….that’s where you are when I finish my shower….waiting for my touch, my strength, my desire, my love.The morning before you were there and I was not feeling it, was not feeling my “Dom”. You asked for my cock in your mouth and I gave it to you. It was needed to help us both with our mindset. It was needed to make our day better but we were still a little “off”.This morning I knew that you needed your Daddy to take care of you. I told you to open your mouth and proceeded to use it hard and rough. You choked and drooled. I forced myself deeper and harder into your throat. One handful of hair and the other gripping your chin, I rubbed your face against my spit covered cock and balls. I slapped you and choked you and pulled your hair. I jerked off on your face and beat my hard cock against it and then fucked your throat again. You sat on your knees, slumped down and breathing ragged from the abuse I had given you. A beautiful mess….My beautiful little girl.I shoved your head to the floor and told you to get your ass up. With a handful of hair I moved your face over to my foot and ordered you to kiss it. “Kiss my foot girl…know your place…I own you…every little bit of you is Mine…don’t ever forget it babygirl”. And with that I knelt down behind you and slide myself into your pussy. The pussy that belongs to me. I fucked you very rough. I pulled your head back with big handfuls of your hair.I reach around your head to your face with both hands and shoved my fingers into your mouth stretching your cheeks as I pulled you back into me. I fucked you hard finishing deep inside of you and pushed your head to the floor. I slid your hair away from your face and said good girl. My Girl.Once again we connected….our way. Our mindset can get off sometimes and we need to be reminded of who we are. Sometimes you remind me, sometimes I remind you. It doesn’t really matter how it is done because the one part that is always there is that we do it together.We are perfect together. You feed me and I feed you and together we will always find our way home.There is so much more to this story than I can put into these words. What is really important here…what I really desire for you to take from this story…is that you know your place. Because your place…the place you belong more than any other place in the world…is with me….in my heart.