Hunger Pains

Showing-Your-Emotions-Is-A-Sign-Of-Strength

To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” ~Criss Jami

So open

vulnerable

yet it is what I need to surrender

to be happy

to be little

to give myself completely.

I crave this place that you give me Daddy. I crave it every night.  I hunger Daddy.

I struggle as I open my throat up for you.  I gasp for air, I choke, I feel the muscles in my tummy flex as my body betrays me, I whimper, I cry.  I GIVE YOU CONTROL.    I let your  desires feed me and I experience an erotic pleasure.  I can’t hold back the tears as they run down my slobbery face.  I hear you tell me how beautiful I am.  My walls start to crumble.  I feel a release of that tightness that can build in my chest, in my throat.  I feel your love rush into and over me.  Nothing exists but us.

The wonderful safety of being able to melt into you. To jump and be caught.  You never let go. You squeeze me, pinch me, hold me down.

You lift me.

It is such a mystery how this works

and it took time for me to figure it all out.

How do I understand my strength

when I feel weak:

Physically

mentally

emotionally

The world is more difficult to traverse

when my walls are down.

Yet I learn a new way. “The Protector” always there, my Big always a part of me.

It is about balance.

Volume

Knowing my fears and facing them; not alone but together.  Believing.  Living.   Showing my strength in quiet ways even when i feel so small.  Just being.

and on the days when the person who is my safety is the person who has hurt me and I seem numb- let your beast have me.  Take the little toy who lays herself at your feet.  Trust in all that we are. 

yes; make me crawl to you.  Command me.  Use me… Own me.  Let the beast devour me, take ownership and put yourself into me.  Let your mind go and just reach into me.   Pour out the pain, let it thunder and rain, and wash us clean.  

and afterwards put me back together the way you want me.     The way I need to be. 

 

 

 

 

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14 thoughts on “Hunger Pains

  1. OMG…i so needed to read this today!!! i felt EVERY single word you wrote. It touched a place inside me that i needed it to. i’m waiting for permission from my Daddy to reblog this…i hope that’s okay with you!

  2. Once again I am wishing there was an I LOVE THIS button! It is such a magical place and thank you for reminding me why I surrender to this life style

  3. Reblogged this on Becoming a Babygirl and commented:
    This post from Sirslittledarling, resonated with me on so many levels today. i am an emotional person who feels at times that it is weak to be that way. Because of my Daddy, i know i can be weak because He will be strong and put me back together again. He never lets me down. He gives me His wisdom and encourages me to grow into who HE wants me to be. i just had to share this!!

  4. You always touch my heart with your thoughts. I love the way you two love each other and navigate the hard stuff. Balance is hard and harder still when you don’t seek it when things are difficult. Hugs.

    • There is that stubbornness factor that holds us back from seeking..I did say good night to Sir the other night even when my little heart was hurt. I reached in my weakness and found strength. He is my strength so much of the time. We talked for hours tonight and made big step forward in our next phase. We call it operation WTF happened.

    • Your writing is great!. It feels so close to what I feel. Thank you for the compliment… The words I write are sometimes so deep within me its painful to plunge in and get them…I feel better when I do.

  5. This is phenomenal. Your relationship and journey sounds so similar to my own. Thank you for sharing.

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