Aloha Bloggers,

When I read that Darling wanted to explore the world of comedy in her blog, I was jubilant, to say the least.  Her and her Sir have an energy and a banter that I have enjoyed over the years so needless to say, I was looking forward to this shift.  She then asked me to write a post. MEEEEE!!!

To the girl who had that big party in the 8th grade. You know, the party that everyone was excited about? The one where you gave me the flier, asked me to make copies because I worked in the library, and then walked away deliberately not inviting me?

Yeah, you. I’m just saying, I  know what you’re up to now and it ain’t pretty. And while it would give a lessor person great pleasure to know you’ve created your own hell, I, on the other hand, am beyond fucking ecstatic to know what a loser you turned out to be. (Never claimed greater person status here). You were a monumental bitch and not only that, I know for certain you’ve never been asked to write anything for any blog. (my finger and thumb is in the shape of an L on my forward and I’m looking right at you, ho).

So yes, Darling asked and of course, I answered in the affirmative. But I’m sorry to say, this one is not going to be a funny post.  Not even close.

This is a serious one about a very concerning group of people. People that are not often talked about.

They’ve been compared to STDs, in that they can be insidious and sometimes without outward symptoms. Symptoms that aren’t recognized until all hell breaks lose.

But I think the marshmallow metaphor is more applicable here. Marshmallows are soft and sweet. Appealing to pretty much everyone. People get excited when they melt; they’re that much more yummy.

However, if they are not tempered with the right “implements”, they become a mess. A sticky, chaotic, and oft times, demonic mess.

I’m sharing this information in hopes that it’s not too late. That their diabolical plans to rule the world can be terminated and that we can all rest assured knowing that they have been taken in hand (which is probably their ulterior motive anyway) so we can all go on existing in our happy Vanilla worlds, living happy duplicitous lives.

These people are ladies. And they look like this:

little despicable-me

and this:

little hercules_pegasus_sleeping

and yes, this:

little puss-boots

Some even have the gall to look like this:

little bambi

It’s low, Bloggers. Downright dirty. And as you can imagine, they’re everywhere. Everywhere!!! In our schools, in our churches, they are corporate managers, educators, and scientists. They feed the hungry and are committed partners and parents. They look and behave like you and me.

But they’re not. Oh no, they’re not. Inside they are:





and especially this:



These ladies are called:


And they are exactly as I just described. How do I know? Because not one, but TWO of them are two of my best friends.

That’s right. I have an up close and personal view into their minds.

And it’s scary.

To Be Continued…..



34 thoughts on “GAH

  1. You need help. AND you need to get out of the Little closet, Ms.-Hello-Kitty-coloring-book-owner.

  2. Resistance is futile cheeky. The only option now is to assimilate and become one.

  3. This is what goes for humor? It’s totally missing the sidecar of animal balloons.

  4. I’m clematis std. I’m sure of it. Very pretty big flowers. Clings to daddy.

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