Easy to Open is a Lie

“Easy to open”.  “Tear here.”  NOT TRUE.  In fact this afternoon i did a scientific study to show that I am indeed smarter than a package of meat.

It started innocently: the good girl who was making a simple sandwich for lunch.  Yes; eating lunch as all good girls should do.

I gather all ingredients and laid them out on the counter.  First the smoked chicken lunch slices.  A resealable bag.  Nice. I like those.    The label in bold read, “Tear here; easy to open”.  I am not intimidated and follow instructions.   I am unsuccessful at my first attempt.  Resealable bags are now reclassed as unfriendly.  Manipulation is needed.

I first coax the bag telling it I was getting out the scissors.   Having wrestled these bags before I was careful not to cut off the entire resealable portion.  I have destroyed them before.  Who hasn’t. right?

The science started when I decided to test if the ones that did NOT say easy to open were actually easier to open.  I was successful at opening both the packages that did NOT say Easy to Open.  AHA.

The bag that said Easy to Open never got opened.   That is right I never had the chicken. I settled for the salami.

Has anyone else already made this discovery?

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast- I did that so I AM smarter than a package of lunch meat.   Besides Aphid Dave will get that damn package open anyway.  





12 thoughts on “Easy to Open is a Lie

  1. Aphid Dave, does he open whatever bags you can’t open?

    I don’t even bother with “resealable” bags or anything that tells me where to tear it. I get the scissors and I cut that bitch open.

  2. Love it 🙂

  3. We just cut open the packages and put the contents in glad-ware containers.

  4. Easy open is a plot to trick us into thinking we are less than we are. BUT invoking bg superpowers (aka Daddies) is our ultimate Bwhahaha!!!! Failing a Daddy save, I cut the top off and put it in a ziplock. They turn colors when you get it right. REWARD. I like rewards. And I but ziplocks in bulk.

  5. This funny story and for other reasons I am increasingly buying fresh produce from our local Farmers Market — placed in biodegradable paperbags. However, due to my lifelong morning coffee/espresso habit, there are times at dawn that I wrastle — that’s a backwoods Southern U.S. term used abundantly round these parts 😉 — with the DAMN paper coffee filters that do their WORST to stay stuck together until 12 noon! About that time I have used a variety of impeccable choice cuss-words upon said rage-inciting filters! Rwwwaaaaaarrrrrrrrr!!!

    HAHAHA! GOT YOU…you stickin’ Mo-Fo! 😛

    • funny comment. familiar with the wrastle term. I am also familiar with the coffee filters.

    • Professor Taboo – I hate the coffee filters! I have been known to destroy them in the attempt to separate them from one another. I swear somebody at a warehouse somewhere is laughing their ass off at all of us.

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