Name the Neighbors

We all have names for our Neighbors  right?  I am not talking about Paul and Nancy or the Flannigans.    The comcast guy, the old man with the stick, the guys on the corner, divorced guy, single guy, the new house people- these are names.

What I didn’t know was that our neighbors had names for US.

Last night a neighborhood couple with a little dog  waved to us while we on our walk.   I waved back.  I am confident that the deer in the headlight look on my my face was not noticed.  I am gonna say maybe I even looked cool.   Now I don’t know there names.  Husband said it was Maggie’s parents.  We KNOW the dog.

They stopped and chatted and asked us if we were building a house in a lot by our home.   What?  No.

Well they had heard  that the “kids that live in the upstairs of the two story house” were building a home.

We were shocked- our name is “kids in two story house”.   Um, No we are not.

We were told, ”  a man who knew everything told them”.   I said, “right”.  Obviously.    At that moment they realized they were deep in neighborhood gossip.  They would not divulge their source.   I let them know I thought is was the guy who sits in the chair.   They knew who that was.

Also you should know that I already named one of the new neighbors that IS building a house.  They have not even built a house and they are the STUPID neighbors.   There dog went in the pond and chased my baby ducklings.  They didn’t seem to care much.  I think I need to make a pamphlet for the neighbors.  There are rules.   I mean duck dock is a real thing.  Seriously.

*Disclaimer-  The dog’s name was actually Abby.

What are your names for your neighbors?  Better what is YOUR name?


25 thoughts on “Name the Neighbors

  1. Ha! That’s funny! It’s interesting to find out how others identify you, isn’t it?
    I don’t know if we have names other than our real ones at this point. We know many of our neighbors by their actual names now, probably because we’ve lived here quite a long time (and so have most of them). Now I’m curious what our names were before any of them actually knew our real names … most likely since we already had family in the area who were known to many of our neighbors it was something to do with how we were related to them … Sam’s niece and nephew or Carla’s cousin or what have you. Maybe we were the family with the new baby … since our youngest was quite tiny when we moved in. *shrug*

    • It was a shocker and very interesting. Makes sense what you say with real names cuz u lived there awhile. We were the only house in the development…then slowly other houses were is definitely the outer neighborhood peeps that can only guess at us….giggle…I bet others must include duck lady in my name. I might have been outside with a towel on my head waving at a bald eagle to protect my ducks..maybe

  2. awww you are “kids” lol
    and it is totally reasonable to know all the dogs names and not the peoples 😀

  3. Lady with the crazy “mean ” dog

  4. “The weird woman in the first house”, “the annoying neighbours”, “the lawn mower guy”. I think we are called “the young couple” 😀

  5. Weeeelllll, our names are Bitch and Dick with the smartass kids, it’s ONLY because we like 2 of our neighbors and one set of those are weird, but cool. The others I refer to as Adolf and Eva and the ones 2 doors down worthless pieces of shit. Adolf, Eva and WPOS are long stories. I despise them, therefore you only see me leaving my front door to go to my car and vice versa.

    • That is hilarious….bitch and dick. How did Mr. Rogers do it?

      • I don’t know. He surely was sociable with his neighbors. Not us. I just give mine the “Really? I don’t have the time of day for your OR your idiotic bullshit” look and they scamper along most days, unless, of course, they are up for a challenge. Then I’m game! 😇

  6. Oh and that’s ALL they do is gossip. I do not care to partake and neither does my husband. I mean really? Who cares?

  7. We have the crazy folks on the hill, the new couple in the B house, the new family in the P house, the ones in the old D house ( maybe we need to learn some new names). And husband was recently called the cop up the street.

    • Crazy folks on the hill…omg..that sounds like your next post! Cop up the street – respectable name… nice

      • Oh, crazy on the hill would be a full length novel. Screaming profanities. The daughter once turned the hose on her parents to break up their fighting. Multiple police calls and car wrecks as recently as Sunday.

  8. Well, there’s CrazyLadyWithAStick who wears her gray hair waist length, combs it as she walks the neighborhood with a walking stick in her hand and makes ranting statements if you make eye contact. She’s been banned from every business within a two block circle.
    There’s Child Molester Guy who wanted our teenage son to come into his house and look at his drawings… There’s the lesbian couple who just moved in next door. There’s Shirley The Dog Walker across the street, and Snake Dude who sunbathes with his boa a few house up from her. There’s the drug dealers on the corner, and we call them Yellow House People. We also have the Jewish family on the other corner who got so named because my friend’s mom announced they MUST BE Jewish since their Christmas lights were blue…ya, she’s a little wacky. I think we are the Crabby Old People. Next door neighbor’s are The Vets or Crazy Mike and his wife. We have lots of characters in the hood.

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