Failed Sex and Burnt Toast

We make toast every weekend and it is golden.  I am content.  Then one day I put a slice of bread in the toaster and without changing  any settings I end up with burnt toast.  I always utter out loud, “burnt toast”, sigh, and make sure the toaster knows I am UNHAPPY.  “How can this happen?” Is my toaster in a bad mood.  Did I make my toaster mad?  Are my hands cold? -lots of “I don’t understands” and then decision to butter it and call it good  or try again.  I don’t however tell my friends I had a toast failure and think the world is ending.  Sure, I might check the settings to make sure nothing obvious has been adjusted but I usually just accept it and eat it.  

It occurs to me burnt toast is like a sexual failure. Other than the Classics: failure to launch, stay the course, or land why would I determine something a fail? I mean if the peg goes in the hole isn’t that a success?

There are other things involved and when they don’t happen we often call it a FAIL.  No, I didn’t go to sex referee school but this is a hot topic among couples and between women. 

It is like we expect to do something over and over  and expect it to turn out golden everytime.  

Sex is messy.  We get insecure about our bodies.  We don’t communicate.  Foreplay gets omitted or shortened for either of us. Cats jump on the bed.  I have to pee.  We are tired. I am cold.  I am hot.  These are happen and will continue to happen.  These we can laugh about.  

I am still falling in love with my Man

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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8 thoughts on “Failed Sex and Burnt Toast

  1. You were so looking forward to golden perfection dripping with butter. Then it was burnt and not very good and that was the last slice and you can’t have anymore until you restock.
    It is terribly disappointing but it isn’t the end of the world.
    Yes lots to ponder.

  2. In my world, burned toast goes in the trash and I try again. On the second failed try, I declare breakfast over and kitchen closed. Perhaps this analogy needs more work.

  3. Hahahaha…indeed, LIFE in all its totality is quite messy! Which has always betwixted & beguiled me HOW ON EARTH do kinksters (BDSM lifers) manage their strict 24/7 lifestyle when life is so unpredictable… and as you say SLD, “messy”!!!? 😮 Hmmmmm, things that make you/me go… hmmmmm. 😛

  4. Lol, I always have to pee before sex. My husband often asks “Have you gone pee?” before we get too involved. We are both very distractable, “Oh! Did I tell you about…?” We laugh a lot before and during. Sex at my house is never a failure, and is never bad. We spent time together physically touching, feeling good. It may not have been amazing or gone like we had planned but it always good.

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