dark army

So many things are changing.

Our story of falling in love and becoming one is something i can only remember.  I know it happened.  I wrote about it.  He wrote about it.  We had that connection.   When he got lost I would find him.  Pull him off that ledge.  He would embrace me and it was a sweet song.

I don’t know exactly when but a year ago that thing that haunts him came back with an army.  It is like a dark thing that wants to cover his heart and not allow it to feel.   It knows I am his light and it doesn’t want him to see me.  Get rid of me and it can have him all to itself.  It is a destroyer.

I have watched his love for me be strangled.  I try to look behind his eyes like I used to.  I try to touch his heart.  Time has gone by and I can’t seem to penetrate the fortress.

His heart was a fortress when I met him.  He had the glimmer of hope in the possibility of love.  That was the breach and a single ray of my light got in.  That was enough.

That is what I hope for now.  I am deeply in love.  There is nothing to protect my heart.  It is open and sings a song to him every day.

This separation of one into two is more painful than anything I have experienced.  I feel helpless.

He needs his own life.  His own place.  I am supporting him.  I know he is brave and strong enough to not let the destroyer win.

No one wants to hear about this story- it’s not the romantic stuff I used to write about.

Wilbear is doing what he can to help and I think he is going to write some lighter stuffy stuff.  He does have his own blog.



14 thoughts on “dark army

  1. Wrong! People like me who fight their own dark army need to know someone can love us that much… that we have a lighthouse and we can find our way back

    It’s a good “story” and that’s honestly, much more to me what love means than any fluffy sexy story

    Hang in there sweetheart. I believe you can get through this together.

  2. Draco Dimanovic

    I get the feeling too, as you very well know and all I can say is, it may seem like your light isn’t getting through but it probably is, it’s just takes to get through. Keep going and you’ll reach him x

  3. It’s your story, so it matters to those of us you have brought along with you by telling your story as it really is, with the good and the bad.
    You are in our hearts.

    Ash and Alder

  4. Friends are there for the dark twists of our stories as well as the soaring beautiful parts. We want to come alongside you and hold your hand, but without knowing, we can’t. We do want to hear the real stuff. Real friends care about you, not your entertainment value.

  5. I’m with Cinn. I have emotional issues too and my boyfriends love and support is most important to me.

  6. I love you, sweetie. Hugs forever and ever.

  7. I know what your going through Darling. . .😙

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