So many things are changing.
Our story of falling in love and becoming one is something i can only remember. I know it happened. I wrote about it. He wrote about it. We had that connection. When he got lost I would find him. Pull him off that ledge. He would embrace me and it was a sweet song.
I don’t know exactly when but a year ago that thing that haunts him came back with an army. It is like a dark thing that wants to cover his heart and not allow it to feel. It knows I am his light and it doesn’t want him to see me. Get rid of me and it can have him all to itself. It is a destroyer.
I have watched his love for me be strangled. I try to look behind his eyes like I used to. I try to touch his heart. Time has gone by and I can’t seem to penetrate the fortress.
His heart was a fortress when I met him. He had the glimmer of hope in the possibility of love. That was the breach and a single ray of my light got in. That was enough.
That is what I hope for now. I am deeply in love. There is nothing to protect my heart. It is open and sings a song to him every day.
This separation of one into two is more painful than anything I have experienced. I feel helpless.
He needs his own life. His own place. I am supporting him. I know he is brave and strong enough to not let the destroyer win.
No one wants to hear about this story- it’s not the romantic stuff I used to write about.
Wilbear is doing what he can to help and I think he is going to write some lighter stuffy stuff. He does have his own blog.